99 problems but the blog aint one!

As the title suggests; I’ve got 99 problems but the Blog aint one!

Yes, I have a niggle in my right calf, my left knee is swollen I now have a bout of joggers nipple but I’ve got readership!

Woo Hoo! Go readers.

Yes, some of you may be aware that I unashamedly ‘pimped’ my Blog on Wednesday and boy did it work. It annoyed most of my social network friends and followers but bollocks to being annoying…I’m famous! Well, sort of.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes, after the slip road I had a three miler which I completed yesterday back to not bad timing.

Now, going for a run these days consists of nothing short of battle preparation. I’m serious, whoever flippantly says, ‘I threw my trainers on and went for a run’ LIED!

For me, it’s no longer a case of throwing some sporty looking clothes on and heading off into the sunlight, no…I have to Vaseline pretty much all of my chest now. Yes, not only do I have to be cautious of the two bra rubbing or the two boys bouncing, I know have to watch the old joggers nipple! Yes, for the first time this week I experience joggers nipple. And there’s me thinking it was a myth!

So, Vaseline on, then comes the knee strap, which is a work out in itself, dragging it up my calf and sliding it, with much difficulty, to the right position. (You know, knee poking through hole etc.) After the knee strap is the very precise picking of socks. Anyone who knows me will know I have extreme issues with socks, for those of you who don’t I won’t bore you with the credentials of the whole sock process but lets just say it’s a long and tedious task that has to be endured at least twice a day when I’m training.

Then, after all that nonsense its time for the clothing. Yesterday seemed dry but cold so I donned the long sleeve black top and Adidas leggings. I think I would have felt good, in fact, I know I would have felt good, its one of my favourite outfits, IF ONLY I HAD WASHED IT FIRST!

Yes, I committed the ultimate ‘smelly’ crime and went out in previously worn running clothes. There is actually nothing worse…apart from Cherryade pop, going out in stale, smelling, still slightly damp running clothes is possibly the worst thing to do.

I was sure even flies avoided me as I jogged on towards the horse track.

The horse track is what it is…a circular track for horses; 3 times round is just over a mile and to get to the track is half a mile. Now, I will patronise you by confirming that I ran to the track, ran 6 times around it and then ran home. 3 miles.

The plan is back in action.

Now, the worry creeping into my poor little low confident brain is; I’ve got to do 9 miles on Saturday. But, not only have I got to do 9 miles, I’ve got to do 9 miles and then go on the piss all afternoon. The words disaster and recipe come to mind.

I’ve decided to run to the Abercynon roundabout first thing tomorrow morning which means no wine for me tonight, no late night and certainly no justification contracts to be made this evening!

But, I’ve got to do it because on Sunday there will be a mere 4 weeks until the race. FOUR WEEKS! My arse actually twitches every time this thought crosses my mind.

So, 4 weeks, a running club, a worthy charity and this Blog all to consider when I’m dragging my trainers and thinking I want to give up.

I also have to remind myself that I believe that running is 99% in the brain 1% in the legs, if I keep this thought at the forefront of my mind I appear to not do too badly when I’m out on the road.

Also, also, also…I’ve had an email suggesting that BBC Radio Wales may be interested in tracking my training for the marathon…now; I must state that this is only at the very beginning of the pipeline but fingers crossed or laces, whichever you prefer.

Now, between full time work, full time wife duties, training, pimping and Blogging, I am also in the process of writing a new novel. I’m very nearly a quarter of the way through and I have a good feeling about this…in fact, I’ve got a very good feeling, so fingers firmly crossed on that front.

In other news, I had my fringe trimmed yesterday and my eyebrows waxed so I seem to looking far more human today and still a bit Lily Allen. Yee ha.

Have a good weekend.