Cheers!

Right, there’s a few things that really grip my shit about running and I need to get them off my chest. Firstly, I’m no waif like, tiny human being that people can’t hear. I’m heavy footed, I pant and apparently every now and then I make these weird groaning sounds so if you’re walking ten or so paces in front of me, you can, I REPEAT; you can hear me coming. So why the fucking hell do you not move out of my way? Twice today, not once or nearly, twice I was forced to divert off road thus putting my ankles in grave danger of twisting. And do I get an apology? Do I fuck.

Secondly, when you’ve been training for nine months, that’s it, nine months out of twenty seven years, it’s not ‘just’ a half marathon. It’s fucking thirteen point one miles! Thirteen miles and a bit not ‘just’ thirteen miles. What makes this little nark worse is the people who say this to you are always two stone overweight and lose their breath just tying their laces, even making the decision to put a pair of trainers on results in a huge perspiration breakout! BACK THE FUCK OFF!

Now, I apologise for my language, my attitude and in general my lack of sparkly chat. I also have to apologise to the poor Jack Russell who’s brain dead, moron of an owner allowed the dog on a longer lead to chase my departing daps today.   

You have any idea what happened?

Well, I kicked the poor little bastard in the jaw. She yelped, I tripped, and the owner laughed his stupid nano brained head off.

So to all the fucking idiots that have or are about to grace my presence in the next few days whilst I’m trying my damned hardest to build stamina, mileage and in general a positive outlook. WATCH OUT! OK? Compredez?

Anyway, on a lighter note I went to play Bingo last night. I didn’t win a penny! But, I am still in complete awe to how I have never attended Bingo before. The only way to describe it is like Disneyland with numbers and bouncier carpet. Seriously.

I’ll be brutally honest…I didn’t have a bloody clue what the hell was going on. There were a lot of things and numbers and drinks flying around and a man on a microphone speaking so fast I actually thought he was speaking in Russian at one point.

But I loved it and I can’t wait to go again.

The second good thing that happened today/last night was when I got ready for my jog today I could actually put my hair in a ponytail. Now, we’re not talking a long flowing plait down my back but we’re definitely talking hair in a bobble! Granted there were a few clips and a lot of hairspray but nevertheless my mop is on the move.

I didn’t make my run last night, there was an issue with logistics which meant I had to pick Scotty Boy up from Ebbw Vale (Gods Country) so by the time I got back I had to glam up straight away for Bingo, technically that only involved cleaning myself and putting fresh clothes on but all this is god damn time consuming when you’ve got somewhere to be.

This morning I woke, still sleepy but determined to crack the half way mark with the bestseller and by god did I do myself proud. In the past ten days or so I have smashed out an impressive 40,000 words and if the plan goes to, well, plan, I will have the first draft of my new book done and dusted by the end of the month and, and, and I’ve got a feeling this one will be good!

So, I smashed the word count out of this universe and then got the trainers out. I’ll be honest; I was not looking forward to running today…not in the slightest but I’ve come to the conclusion I’m currently in a state of treading water. I’m writing, blogging, training, working not to mention being Wales’s top wife. There’s a lot going on and without sounding pessimistic I’m flipping knackered!

I managed a three mile run today averaging at way under nine minutes a mile so I got the old heart rate well and truly up so I’m not going to beat myself up about the lack of miles.

 I lapped Cyfartha Park today and I always do reasonably well over there.

I was a bit uncomfortable with the old running attire today because that’s exactly what it was; old.  

And, I may have or not have mentioned that I’ve lost a bit of chubber since I’ve been running so, these particular running leggings are a tad on the big side. When I say tad, these were the trousers that got me the beeps from the motorists when my arse was hanging out!  BEEP BEEP! They simply don’t fit and I really need to bin them.

Anyway, I finished my run, got clean and came to bollocking work.  But to make coming to work a little easier it was a nice surprise to get  briefed via email this afternoon by the lovely producer from BBC Radio Wales on what my broadcast will entail next week and its right up my street; literally!

The Valleys! God, what can I say about the valleys, ey? I’ve been racking my addled brain with regards to everything I know, love and hate about where I’m from. I’m wondering whether my slot can go on for a month nonstop because they probably couldn’t have picked a more patriotic talker. Woo Hoo! So, bear with me over the next days as I dig deep to indulge myself in all the things to do with and about my country.

I’m a tad nervous I may divulge a little too much on air though, you know, mentioning naked gardens, naked taxi’s, naked anything that has always seemed quite acceptable in the Valley’s. I really need to disconnect brain and mouth next Tuesday and hope for some sort of reasonable yet entertaining approach to life as we know it up here.

Right, back to the running; I know I say this every Friday and I know everyone’s really bored of my false promises but I will be, drum roll, attempting a mother fucker of a run tomorrow. Whether I’ll complete or even begin the bloody thing is beyond me at the moment but today it’s in my head to do it! I hope nothing dramatically changes over the next few hours. Really now.

First weekend off in quite some time tomorrow so I’m hoping for a nice lie in followed by a nice big run followed by an even bigger, even nicer piss up!

Here’s to the freaking weekend!